Dream Journal 2/18/2013

I walk through the parking lot of the building I work in. At that moment I realize it’s the same building my ex, Ryan, works in as well and somehow I know I will see him. I search for my car so I can run somewhere to pick up lunch and as I search Ryan’s car pulls up. Instantly I’m inside his car and we’re driving through the parking lot on our way to get some food. We don’t talk, just drive through the lot as I still scan the parked cars looking for mine.

The dream ends abruptly…

Small Animals

For awhile I have had two fish tanks. One 10 gallon that housed my angelfish that I got from my friend, Krista, over 2 years ago and a 30 gallon that most recently housed my Oscar. A few weeks ago my Oscar died and I moved the angelfish to the bigger tank. Now I’m debating on what type of pet to get to put in the 10 gallon tank.

I’m sort of over fish so I figured I would go with some small animal. I considered aquatic turtles, mice, a snake, and finally decided to go with rats. About 12 years ago I had two rats, Lenny and Squiggy (i got the names from two male character friends on the old show Laverne and Shirley). I really liked my rats, so I figured it would be fun to have two more. I decided to go with Hairless Fancy Rats, like the picture. I think I will get two girls this time. I will probably name them Laverne and Shirley just to carry on the tradition. ๐Ÿ™‚


Itchy Rashes

About two weeks ago I developed a bumpy rash on my elbows that was slightly itchy. Each day the rash seemed to get worse and worse, as did the itchiness. I began to have itchiness and bumps elsewhere, my lower back, the back of my knees, the inside of my elbows and forearms, the tops of my feet, and my ankles. I thought it was from dry skin, because I’ve battled with dry skin for most of my life and often have a bumpy rash with the dryness. I had been rubbing hydrocortisone, lotion, and even neosporin on it without much relief. The last few nights I was barely able to sleep because my body itched so badly. This morning when I woke up, after 2 hours of sleep, I realized I might actually be allergic to the new cat litter I bought [a corn based litter] not too long before this all started. Since the litter is very dusty and because I added a second litter box in my living room, right by my air conditioner, I figured the dust from it was more than likely EVERYWHERE. So I went to the store and bought some of the litter I used previously, came home and cleaned everything I possible could, including vacuuming the furniture. I also covered my couch [my bed] with a clean quilt to prevent any contact with any of the litter dust still trapped in it. Now it’s a waiting game to see if the rash and itchiness gets better. I assume if I was right and it’s the litter that I’m allergic to it may take a few days for my skin to settle down and for the last of the dust in my apartment to be gone. If I don’t see some relief soon I will be making a trip to the doctor.

Grandpa’s Birthday

Today I celebrated my grandpa’s 70th birthday with my parents, youngest sister, uncle, aunt, three cousins, grandma, and of course the birthday boy, my grandpa. His birthday is actually tomorrow but it would be difficult getting together on a Sunday when all the kids have school on Monday. We celebrated at my aunt and uncle’s house. They prepared a big meal, but since I’m on the Nutrisystem Diet I decided not to eat with them. I did end up having a few pieces of delicious medium rare steak. I would have loved to have had the baked beans, sweet potato, and ribs too but I held back. Unfortunately I couldn’t resist the ice cream cake that came out later though, so I had a piece of that. It was pure heaven.
After supper a discussion began about politics and how much Obama is hated. I sat back and listened but I really don’t care about politics. All in all it was a good day.

Something Strange

This morning I was yanked out of a deep sleep but someone knocking on my door, opening it, and yelling “Maintenance.” I didn’t respond at first, but the guy kept saying it and kept knocking on my hallway wall so I finally looked over the back of my couch [my bed] at him. He informed me he was changing out a smoke detector on the ceiling right above me and didn’t want me to wake up and be surprised by him being right there. I said, “That’s fine,” and basically drifted back to sleep. I awoke again about 20 minutes later and got up for the morning. I gathered my clothes and made a trip to the laundry room, leaving my door unlocked as always and my keys and cell phone inside my apartment. I started the washers with my clothes and went back to my apartment and began working. Half an hour later I went back to the laundry room [again leaving the door unlocked and my keys/cell inside], put my stuff in dryers–minus 4 items that I hang dry–and went back upstairs. As I attempted to enter my apartment I found that the door was locked. For a moment I was very confused, and quickly checked to make sure I had the right apartment and indeed I did. I came to the conclusion that the maintenance guy must have unlocked all of the apartments at the beginning of the day, which allowed a different guy changing the detectors access to each one, and then went back and locked them all again. Unfortunately that happened while I was in the laundry room. I checked down my both sides of the floor I live on, while carrying my wet clothes, and found no one, checked both sides of the floor below me and again found no one. Finally on the first floor I saw a man at the end of the hallway, appearing to be leaving the building, and called out to him. “Were you working with the alarms today?” He turned around and replied, “Yes.” So I said, “I was locked out of my apartment. Can you let me back in?” He was surprised but said he would, of course, let me back in. He also said, “Good thing you caught me just now, I was about to leave.” We went up to my apartment and he unlocked my door for me.

I’m so thankful that I caught him before he left. Had I been 30 seconds later I wouldn’t have. I have no idea what I would have done had that happened. The moral of the story is: Always bring your keys even if the apartment door is unlocked.

A Higher Power

Lately I’ve been wanting to learn more about different religions and also about the Bible. I want to know about them so someday I can teach my future children about the different religions. This may sound strange being that I’m atheist but I think it’s almost always a good thing for children and adults to believe in a god. Generally, believing in a higher power helps steer people in to making morally good choices, so I want my kids to reap the benefits of believing. If they decide to not believe that is okay. I also don’t mind if they choose a different religion than the few I have been exposed to. I just want to be able to teach them and give them options and then let them make the decision.

On a side note, when I do attend church I feel very strange participating in communion. I wonder if the minister/fellow church goers would not approve of an atheist partaking in that ceremony.


1. A couple weeks ago my cat walked onto my laptop which was sitting at the edge of my desk. Unfortunately I hadn’t placed it completely on the desk, so when my cat stepped onto it, it tipped and fell off. The next morning when I went to turn it on the screen wouldn’t turn on, but the rest did. I had to take it to a local place that fixes computers, and luckily my friend, Krista, let me borrow one of her computers to use in the meantime. I didn’t find out for a few days what was wrong with it, but when they did call they told me that the screen needed to be replaced. They were also able to order a new keyboard (mine was missing a few keys…also the result of my cats) and replace that within the same price of labor as fixing the screen. I got it back a few days ago and I am so happy to have it back! I was happy that I had Krista’s computer, otherwise I would have either lost a lot of money not being able to work or had to deal with driving back and forth to my parents in Tea to use their computer. But having my own computer back is definitely better. Now the screen works perfectly and the keyboard feels nice and new. ๐Ÿ˜€

2. Around last October, because of my financial situation, I disconnected the cable at my apartment. I reactivated my Netflix account and then later got an account for Hulu+. For awhile, I found a number of new things to watch on Netflix, and Hulu+ was keeping me up to date on about 7 shows from local channels (i.e. Fox, NBC, etc); however, I have been missing cable more and more. I finally decided last week to have it reconnected, which will be done today. I’m so excited! There have been a number of shows (i.e. Pitbulls and Parolees, Little Couple, 19 Kids and Counting, Chopped, Top Shot, So You Think You Can Dance), even whole channels (i.e. Animal Planet, TLC, HGTV) that I have missed very much the past eight months. I’m sure that within a week or so, I’ll have as many shows on my DVR as before (over 80).

3. Work has been going very well. It’s possible that the company may run out of work for us to do, but so far it seems to be steadily increasing. I’m so happy for the opportunity to work from home (which I LOVE) and the financial benefits. I’ve been paying off past debts that I previously haven’t been able to take care of (some for a few years). I’m getting close to finishing paying them off, and then I need to start saving some money for the future, for a new car, and for a rainy day. Starting next month I also need to start deducting money for taxes and putting it away to send in this September.

4. I started my classes yesterday (I think I finally figured out what I want to do) for the beginning of the Health Information Technology Associate’s Degree. I really want a career in medical billing and coding, and hopefully a job at home. There have already been a couple hiccups as far as viewing my classes on my school’s student portal, but things seem to be fine now. I’m really looking forward to school this time and giving it my all now that I found something that I really want to do.

5. For as long as I can remember I have enjoyed fishing, but have lacked opportunities to go. Usually my parents camp at local lakes a couple times a year and that’s about as often as I have fished. But this year, when I have visited my parents in Tea, my brother and I have been fishing at ponds in Tea and other local lakes and ponds. I have so much fun fishing, especially with my little brother. This past weekend I even bought my own fishing pole (open reel), a tackle box, and some tackle. I also bought gloves to use so I can actually take the fish off the hook myself (the only part of fishing I haven’t done). Now I can’t wait to fish some more!

Casey at the Bat by Ernest Thayer

The Outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville nine that day:
The score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play.
And then when Cooney died at first, and Barrows did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, if only Casey could get but a whack at that –
We’d put up even money, now, with Casey at the bat.

But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake,
And the former was a lulu and the latter was a cake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Casey’s getting to the bat.

But Flynn let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And Blake, the much despis-ed, tore the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and the men saw what had occurred,
There was Jimmy safe at second and Flynn a-hugging third.

Then from 5,000 throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Casey’s manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Casey’s bearing and a smile on Casey’s face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt ’twas Casey at the bat.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Casey’s eye, a sneer curled Casey’s lip.

And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped-
“That ain’t my style,” said Casey. “Strike one,” the umpire said.

From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
“Kill him! Kill the umpire!” shouted someone on the stand;
And its likely they’d a-killed him had not Casey raised his hand.

With a smile of Christian charity great Casey’s visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew;
But Casey still ignored it, and the umpire said, “Strike two.”

“Fraud!” cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered fraud;
But one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Casey wouldn’t let that ball go by again.

The sneer is gone from Casey’s lip, his teeth are clenched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey’s blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville – mighty Casey has struck out.

Night (An Original Poem by me, written when I was 13)

Darkness, blackness that you can’t see.
What roams the night when people sleep.
Creatures of the night scream at the moon.
One lonely creature sits down to weep.
The night has its own current,
that no human has ever felt.
The smells, sounds, sights that the creatures know,
only I have known when the night and I melt.
I know the darkness that everyone feels.
That part of everyone that no one will ever see.
The deep down part of everyone
that belongs to one alone, the one alone is me.
I know of your pain and sorrow.
I feel the pain and sorrow you suffer way down deep.
You don’t cry or even make a sound.
Why don’t you sit and weep?
So I cry for you and your pain and sorrow.
I am the creature and I give you this plight.
Give all your suffering to me and you won’t feel anymore pain,
for I am the creature of the night.

Cat Captions…#1

RJ and SJ: "There's no food in our bowls. Oh wait."

ย  ย The boys, usually just SJ, always sit in front of their food bowls waiting for me
to pour them food when there is already food in the bowl. Such silly kittens they are.

RJ: "I will get you, fish."

RJ loves the fish. If he didn’t mind water, he’d be swimming in there chasing the fish.

SJ: "When you don't look, I'll eat the waffles."

The constant struggle…my cats versus me, who will win the food.

RJ: "Mama! This bubble wrap is so FUN!!"

I bought a new office chair and the boys were having a blast playing with the
box and with the bubble wrap and other stuff from inside.


One of SJ’s favorite places to sleep is on the “bath mat” (a towel at this time).

SJ: "Awww, mama. You woke me up."

The problem for SJ sleeping in the bathroom is he gets woke up when
the lights go on. (Side note: his eyes aren’t normally like that.)