Dream Journal 2/18/2013

I walk through the parking lot of the building I work in. At that moment I realize it’s the same building my ex, Ryan, works in as well and somehow I know I will see him. I search for my car so I can run somewhere to pick up lunch and as I search Ryan’s car pulls up. Instantly I’m inside his car and we’re driving through the parking lot on our way to get some food. We don’t talk, just drive through the lot as I still scan the parked cars looking for mine.

The dream ends abruptly…

Updates

1. A couple weeks ago my cat walked onto my laptop which was sitting at the edge of my desk. Unfortunately I hadn’t placed it completely on the desk, so when my cat stepped onto it, it tipped and fell off. The next morning when I went to turn it on the screen wouldn’t turn on, but the rest did. I had to take it to a local place that fixes computers, and luckily my friend, Krista, let me borrow one of her computers to use in the meantime. I didn’t find out for a few days what was wrong with it, but when they did call they told me that the screen needed to be replaced. They were also able to order a new keyboard (mine was missing a few keys…also the result of my cats) and replace that within the same price of labor as fixing the screen. I got it back a few days ago and I am so happy to have it back! I was happy that I had Krista’s computer, otherwise I would have either lost a lot of money not being able to work or had to deal with driving back and forth to my parents in Tea to use their computer. But having my own computer back is definitely better. Now the screen works perfectly and the keyboard feels nice and new. 😀

2. Around last October, because of my financial situation, I disconnected the cable at my apartment. I reactivated my Netflix account and then later got an account for Hulu+. For awhile, I found a number of new things to watch on Netflix, and Hulu+ was keeping me up to date on about 7 shows from local channels (i.e. Fox, NBC, etc); however, I have been missing cable more and more. I finally decided last week to have it reconnected, which will be done today. I’m so excited! There have been a number of shows (i.e. Pitbulls and Parolees, Little Couple, 19 Kids and Counting, Chopped, Top Shot, So You Think You Can Dance), even whole channels (i.e. Animal Planet, TLC, HGTV) that I have missed very much the past eight months. I’m sure that within a week or so, I’ll have as many shows on my DVR as before (over 80).

3. Work has been going very well. It’s possible that the company may run out of work for us to do, but so far it seems to be steadily increasing. I’m so happy for the opportunity to work from home (which I LOVE) and the financial benefits. I’ve been paying off past debts that I previously haven’t been able to take care of (some for a few years). I’m getting close to finishing paying them off, and then I need to start saving some money for the future, for a new car, and for a rainy day. Starting next month I also need to start deducting money for taxes and putting it away to send in this September.

4. I started my classes yesterday (I think I finally figured out what I want to do) for the beginning of the Health Information Technology Associate’s Degree. I really want a career in medical billing and coding, and hopefully a job at home. There have already been a couple hiccups as far as viewing my classes on my school’s student portal, but things seem to be fine now. I’m really looking forward to school this time and giving it my all now that I found something that I really want to do.

5. For as long as I can remember I have enjoyed fishing, but have lacked opportunities to go. Usually my parents camp at local lakes a couple times a year and that’s about as often as I have fished. But this year, when I have visited my parents in Tea, my brother and I have been fishing at ponds in Tea and other local lakes and ponds. I have so much fun fishing, especially with my little brother. This past weekend I even bought my own fishing pole (open reel), a tackle box, and some tackle. I also bought gloves to use so I can actually take the fish off the hook myself (the only part of fishing I haven’t done). Now I can’t wait to fish some more!

Job

I love my new job. It’s flexible and I love that because I can work whenever, go places whenever, be there for friends and family when they need me whenever. I love that it pays well, especially considering it’s the best that I have been paid in my 10 years of employment. I can work from home while watching tv or listening to music and I would have to say that is one of the best perks. I can start to pay off my large pile of debt with the money from this job, which makes me love it even more. Not to mention the fact that I can work as many hours as I want, just another way to pay off more bills.

Although there are many good things about my job, I wonder if the good things are bad. I wonder if I’m trying to work myself too hard, too much, to earn even more money so I can pay more things off, or buy the few “treats” I let myself buy. I don’t want to miss opportunities to see things. I don’t want to miss time with my friends and siblings. I don’t want to not allow myself to enjoy some time away from work, playing a game or just not working. I feel like, because I can work as much as I want, that I have to work as much as possible. Anytime I’m at home, I’m working. I feel like I shouldn’t take myself away from work to sit in a warm bath, or sometimes even to clean my apartment. I just can’t see a way to know when it’s too much. I just want so badly to be debt free (minus student loans). That feeling would be so wonderful, but what if I can’t enjoy it because I’ve overworked myself? How do I find answers?